The biggest mistake in writing a screenplay is writing poor scenes. The difference between a poor scene and a good scene is that a poor scene has no point while a good scene tells a short story.
In a short story, there’s a clear goal, obstacles that get in the way of that goal, and a definite conclusion on whether the hero achieves that goal or not. Because every scene tells a short story, each scene holds our attention and pulls us into the next scene until the entire story is done.
Poor scenes simply show a slice of life with no clear goal that the hero is trying to achieve, no obstacles getting in their way, or no clear conclusion on whether the hero achieved that goal or not.
Watch this scene from “Rain Man” where Tom Cruise is stuck with his autistic brother, played by Dustin Hoffman. When Tom Cruise realizes that Dustin Hoffman’s autism allows him to memorize and count in a split second, his sudden goal is to take advantage of this unique skill.
First, he tests Dustin Hoffman’s card counting skills and when Dustin Hoffman succeeds, the second step is to rush to Las Vegas where Tom Cruise pawns his watch to get some money.
Next, Tom Cruise uses that money to buy them both new clothes. Now they enter a casino and head to a blackjack table where Tom Cruise runs into his first major obstacle. Dustin Hoffman has an 18 and asks for another playing card over Tom Cruise’s objections, which causes Dustin Hoffman to lose money.
Then Dustin Hoffman reveals that the deck is full of queens and other 10 value cards. From this point on, Tom Cruise starts winning and the scene ends with him successfully exploiting Dustin Hoffman’s autistic abilities, which was the goal from the start.
Watch this scene from “The Imitation Game” which is about the British attempt to crack the German Enigma encryption. The scene tells a complete short story from the time Alan Turing (the hero) suddenly realizes a potential flaw in how the Germans are using Enigma to finally cracking the Enigma code.
Alan Turing realizes that instead of trying to look for all possible combinations of words, it’s far easier to look for only known words in an encoded message. To tst his theory, he rushes back to his office and grabs the latest intercepted German weather report, which contains three predictable words: weather and Heil Hitler. Then he programs his primitive computer to search for these known words within the Enigma code and when his machine calculates the proper setting, he tests it on a real Enigma machine with a different intercepted German message.
That’s when he sees that he’s finally succeeded in cracking the German Enigma code. Notice how this short scene tells the short story of how Alan Turing went from getting an idea to testing his idea to finally realizing his idea is correct. By telling a complete short story, scenes move a story along and keep the audience’s attention from start to finish.
When writing your own scenes, focus on telling a mini-story. There must be an initial goal and obstacles that get in the way of that goal as the hero pursues the goal. Then the scene ends with the hero either getting their goal or not getting their goal. Either way, the conclusion of one scene leads us into the next scene.
So don’t write scenes just to reveal information but write scenes that hold our attention because they’re telling a short story. When every scene in your screenplay tells a compelling story, you’ll wind up with a compelling full-length screenplay.
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